Like elephants - cops never forget

"505Turbeaux" (505turbeaux) 03/17/2014 at 11:51 • Filed to: None

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So I want to start this rant off by saying this is not a slam on lesbians or LBGT at all, I have many great friends that are of that sexual persuasion, and the only reason I mention it is because it bears on the story. So anyhow, I have been pretty ill the past week, just nasty feeling and not being able to eat or drink much. Saturday I ate something in the am, went out to grab a bite and try to suck down a beer at my local fooding and watering hole.

I went with 2 ladyfriends of mine who are in a relationship. We went in, it almost looked like a gay bar. Fine, cool, grab me a Rolling Rock and some breakfast for dinner. In walks a woman and her gaggle of girlfriends celebrating St. Patricks day a bit early. The one in question is a State Trooper, in a kilt, her uniform shirt and a sash full of police Emerald Society pins, shithouse drunk.

A few years back (4) I am driving a freshly painted, stickered and registered Vanagon down the turnpike. One of the sneakier things the fuzz likes to do in our state is go park their cars in hiding, and lurk behind the toll booth office to pop out at you and point a finger for you to pull over. So I am driving the bus, hair maybe 2 inches too long all around on a nice summer day, go through the toll booth, and after I pay and go through I see a cop waving me over. Didn't do anything wrong, so I figure she was waving someone else over. I took off. Looking in the rearview I see her run across 2 toll lanes to get in her cruiser. Fuck it, I keep driving, must be someone else. Boy was I wrong. She stops me, and starts yelling. Says she almost got hit trying to come after me, and boy was I in trouble. This woman is a mountain, 6 foot tall and really pissed. And I sometimes have a mouth about me when I perceive injustice. What did you pull me over for officer? "You have a loud exhaust, but that is the beginning of your troubles evading me."

I happened to put a bone stock exhaust and gaskets on it that weekend and pulled the receipts for that and vehicle inspection report. I also informed her I knew there was only 2 officers in the state that are licensed to do roadside inspections, so I needed some other reason for the stop or she was going to call a supervisor in or I was going to jail for taking off. After some back and forth bickering. She lets me go because I was not going to be a pushover and subject to any search or incriminate myself.

Fast forward to yesterday, in she walks with a whole lot of women to impress. Guess who she never forgot? Yup, you got it. Me. Not like I forgot either. So she relays her version of the story to her friends who are giggling and I hear "Hey, there's that fucking hippy who thinks he knows better then I do, still got your stupid hippy van?" I reply, nope sold it after I realized what a target it is for cops who have nothing better to do. And so the melee really begins, my 2 young, cute lesbian friends berating the old dusty ones in the corner with the cop and vice versa.

I think I am marked now, but we left them there. As far as I am concerned you do not represent your police or fire department when you go out drinking. I am not going to complain, but if I get pulled over in the next week for nothing, I am seriously going to consider bringing this up. Rant complete, carry on

thebigbossyboss > 505Turbeaux 03/17/2014 at 11:54

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You be a danfo driver?

505Turbeaux > thebigbossyboss 03/17/2014 at 11:58

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haha I had to look this up

jkm7680 > 505Turbeaux 03/17/2014 at 11:59

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I respect Law Enforcement. That Officer, is not representing the department that she belongs to. Honestly, It's bad enough that she was out drinking and decided to insult you in that manner.

If she wanted to stop you, she should have got inside her car, and looked before she got inside the car. It's not like there are thousands of Vanagons out there. It sounds like there was no reason to stop you, other than a vague "Suspicion"

505Turbeaux > jkm7680 03/17/2014 at 12:00

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she was hoping it was going to look like this when she pulled me over was what it was.

jkm7680 > 505Turbeaux 03/17/2014 at 12:03

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Haha, She didn't get what she wanted to find.

OPPOsaurus WRX > 505Turbeaux 03/17/2014 at 12:06

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I would imagine there is some regulation to when they can wear their uniform especially when the person is representing their department like that. Maybe its different is she was just participating in a parade but I'm sure her captain wouldn't find this story as amusing as I have. You could always call the captain ans ask him directly. You could also ask him about your fear of having a target on your back.

McMike > 505Turbeaux 03/17/2014 at 12:31

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I have come to accept the fact that Vanagon drivers are seen as tokers.

I keep meeting people that are shocked that I don't do it. They hear "Vanagon" and just assume I do. I've never been profiled and pulled over for it, but I suppose it's possible....

I'm not sure how I would have handled that woman in the bar. Off duty, drunk, acting like an asshole.... I probably would have been tempted to join them and buy them a few rounds.

The Dummy Gummy > McMike 03/17/2014 at 12:40

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How long have you had yours? Any troubles?

505Turbeaux > McMike 03/17/2014 at 12:43

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haha yeah I probably should have, but she set me off. If I had been feeling better and had been able to stomach a few more rounds, I may have gone this way too!

thebigbossyboss > 505Turbeaux 03/17/2014 at 12:54

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Now the question is...is there a Nigerian state with your colour scheme?

505Turbeaux > thebigbossyboss 03/17/2014 at 12:56

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probably :) hahahaha

McMike > 505Turbeaux 03/17/2014 at 12:56

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Oh, I would have been tempted to turn it up and go for tears, but like accusing a Marine officer of a felony without proper evidence, if you have any doubt that you might not get them, it's best to not do it. You can try, but if you don't succeed, you'll look like a fool.

Better to suck it up a bit than to spend the rest of your days teaching typewriter maintenance at the Rocco Globbo School for Women

505Turbeaux > McMike 03/17/2014 at 12:57

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hahahahahaha good call my man

McMike > The Dummy Gummy 03/17/2014 at 13:09

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I've been driving them for 20 years or so.

Head gaskets fail and take the head/block with them.

Seams rust from the inside out.

They are not that quick in traffic

They cruise on the highway between 65-70

Other than that, they are fantastic. Dead reliable, tons of room, and (to me, at least) they have curb appeal.

The Dummy Gummy > McMike 03/17/2014 at 14:04

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I think they're awesome. I've always wanted one. I need to look into one. I live on the coast so I will probably run into a lot of rust issues.